Your Pain

There's just something that I need you to hear
but I don't want you to listen, really.
Just let the noises penetrate your ear
and nod your head as if you can feel me. 

Sometimes I simply need to crush your soul.
Sometimes I want to humiliate you.
To touch your lips with a hot glowing coal
but you know I'd never violate you.

There's just something that I need you to see
But I don't want you to pay attention.
Pretend it's smoke and mirror ecstasy
Freaky thoughts for now, not for retention.

Sometimes I need to sit and watch you die.
Sometimes I want to see your walk falter.
Sometimes I wait until I hear you cry
to change pain that I could always alter.

Do you believe I love you even still?
Do you understand this pain hurts me back?
Do you know that blood cries for blood to spill?
Do you see the love behind my attack?

There's just something that I need you to know.
But, for now, your tired mind must let it slide.
It's a secret that could help you to grow
It's a hope that, you see, must be denied. 

Sometimes I laugh when you attempt to leave.
Sometimes I let you make it out the door.
Sometimes I will allow you to believe
that you won't come crawling back, like before.

There's something I need you to understand
But I know that it's too big for your mind.
But it's something that your heart will demand
When I make you seek it, then you will find.

Sometimes I need to see your heart broken.
Sometimes I want to scramble up your brain.
I want to give you a piece you will choke on
and let you live with the lingering pain.

Have you gotten it yet that I love you?
That we are tied together at the soul
And all this stuff I need you to go through
Makes you come back to me to make you whole.