A Very Long Moment of Silence

It’s more than three days I’ve been in this tomb.

I’ve seen only blackness since they closed the door.

Easter Sunday left me to face my doom;
Left me to lie on this cold granite floor.

Undead, in the dark, my body a shell,

My ghost gropes out for a new direction:

For the lights of heaven or fires of hell

Or the quiet breath of resurrection.

Sometimes I’ve sinned just for fun fighting fate.

Sometimes I’ve struggled and still missed the mark.

I’m no messiah, no demon, no saint.

I’m just a fat guy they left in the dark.

If I’d a mouth, I’d scream to end this strife

If I’d still lungs I’d inhale the breath of life.

Benjamin J. Cline

4/20/03

A Song Without Notes

I know that I don’t love you

But I am bored and you are here.

The wine’s playing with my mind

And I want what I should fear

See, I don’t want to hurt you

But you make it so damned easy

I’m stressed and need to unwind

But this way makes me sleazy

You say that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

Let’s take this breath together

But this air seems so polluted

Compared with Nebraska plains

Where my parents taught me

Rights and wrongs; pleasures and pains

And the morals I’ve diluted

Still make me cough at night

And truth can only set you free

When you take a path that’s right

You say that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

Let’s take this plunge together

But these waters aren’t as deep

As the thoughts we both have had

And it could never wash us clean

It will only drink us sad

Secrets that we just can’t keep

Have me drowning in my bed

They’re tears you haven’t seen

And the blood I haven’t shed.

You say that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

Let’s walk this Earth together

But walking here in the dark

Even wrong does not seem right

I can’t see where I’m going

When I’ve given up my sight

I hear voices I should harken

But you drag me by the hand

To lie down in the weeds I’m sowing

Is softer than the sand

You say that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

Let’s burn in Hell together

Fire you light won’t purify

This flame will only burn

The heat will end in coldness

The spark to ice will turn

The heat you feel is just a lie

It will not last forever
And false love could never hold us

When we don’t want to be together

You say that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

Let’s take this breath together

Let’s take this plunge together

Let’s walk this road together

Let’s burn in Hell together

At least we’ll be together

Can’t you see truth all through this lie?

Can’t you see I’m killing you?

Do you really want to die?

Is that what you want to do?

Let’s take this breath together.

Let’s take this plunge together.

Let’s walk this road together.

Let’s burn in Hell together.

I’ll break more than just your heart.

Let’s take this breath together.

I’ll can never make you whole

Let’s take this plunge together.

To end your life is just a start

Let’s walk this road together

I’ll take more than just your soul

Let’s burn in Hell together

I guess that it’s ok

I don’t have to say forever

Life’s just this moment anyway

But we won’t end up together

We’ll never be together.

A Moment of Light

(a Bard’s song of Northern Gilenthrope)

A wizard’s spell in a moment of light

Awoke Dragon sleeper from his dark dreams

A Bronze Dragon who would peel back the night

A Dragon who would rise to be King

Atop the world the Dragon King

Sat in temples he did not know

And hymns of darkness he did sing

Prayers for the blackness light to show.

In mounds of wealth the Dragon King

Sat digging for a bit of gold

But darkness did not show a thing

But dark silence and fear and cold.

Then Leer appeared in a moment of light

He waked all the sleepers from their dark dreams

He healed all the pain and he broke the night

He filled all the darkness with pure sunbeams

“Dragon King receive this quest

Find Revelations Old and New

In this search you will find no rest

Till you rise beyond the blue.

Yes, seek and you shall always find

But search in places I shall show

You’ll find light for your blinded mind

A truth inside you did not know.”

The Dragon King in a moment of light

Awoke to see far beyond his dark dreams

The source of brilliance to break through the night

But a source still veiled in clouds so it seems.

For there were letters scribed in gold

On pages made of iv’ry white

In tongues used by the folk of old

That had long fallen to the night.

For one who read this ancient speech

Faeries, Dwarves and Elves he sought

And though there was much that they could teach

There was still much that they knew not.

Then they emerged in a moment of light

Gate-Keepers emerged from legends and dreams

They spoke the tongue that was lost in night

They showed the sweet life with which the light teems

Scholars and sages flocked to teach.

Peasants and mages flocked to learn.

Clerics arose an Overseer led each.

In Purest light the world did burn.

But darkness lived and darkness schemed.

The Dark Ones hated all this light

And a great battle was, it was deemed

Would return the world to night

They would wage war to end this constant light

They would return the sleepers to their dreams

Then they could arise with wrath and rule the night.

They could again be gods and be kings.

Battle began and crushed the world

But it still could not crush the light

Despite the shadows that were hurled

Only parts of Tyre were night.

Part for darkness; Part for the Sun

Never again shall darkness reign

This age of Chaos was begun

More darkness comes darkness that stains

Always somewhere is a moment of light

That wakes sleepers from their darkest dreams

And bright stars arise in the darkest nights

Like the gold that is brought from muddy streams.

A thick shell of mud coats my helm of gold

My wineskin is cracking, brittle and old.

My cloak, where not patched with some newer cloth,

Has gone white to gray and shows signs of moth.

My hide once washed clean, is now splotched with mud

And manure and urine and puss mixed with blood.

Scrapes mark my skin in every direction

Most of them stink with leavened infection.

I wonder if I can be clean again

If I can be raised from where I descend

And if I can, how long will it last

‘Fore I get dirty reliving my past

To ask to be washed again seems too bold

But what other hope do I have to hold?

2/5/03

Benjamin J. Cline

A Dream and No More

What is it you want? What is it you’ll take? I saw you wearing only a ring. Otherwise sky-clad our warm bodies sing. Was it presaging? Is my vision fake? Were it only in dreams I never would wake. But I touched your face and you touched my hair. In those real moments, was something more there? It is a question I just cannot shake. How could I just ask? What if I am wrong? Must I wonder for my heart’s fragile sake? Is it so fragile that it just might break? And must my dreams remain only a song: A wish in the dark to help me along? A song and a dream are not wings to soar, But this could be only a dream and no more. Only a dream, only still so damned strong. But I was awake when you touched my hair. You were drunk, but still, you once grabbed my hand. If dream and no more then I’ll understand But I have to know if something more’s there. Benjamin Cline 7/25/03

A cool rainy day

Today has been kind of a nice day. 

I woke up late. 

I made coffee. 

I did homework. 

I ate. 

I read. 

I thought. 

I wrote.

It was a nice day inside while it rained outside

The water fell.

The water formed droplets on the window.

The water droplets grew.

The water drops slid down the window.

The water formed a pool outside my window.

The water spashed to the ground.

The water crawled to the gutter.

Then I remembered.

I remember showering in the rain.

I remember the rain pouring over my body.

I remember the lather of the shampoo running over me.

I remember the soap-suds on the grass.

I remember the cool rainwater carressing my skin

I remember it making me cold.

I remember running into the apartment and putting on clothes.

I can still see the apartment.

I can still see black nights.

I can still see ciggarette ashes.

I can still see bottles of jack daniels.

I can still see shelves decorated with beer.

I can still see demons laughing

I can still see candles that don't give enough light.

I can still see darkness.

Then I see you.

I see you laughing through tears.

I see you bringing sunshine.

I see you playing your guitar.

I see you see you singing in the living room.

I see you singing as I fall asleep

I see sunshine.

I see sunshine, the rain is over

A Bad Habit

I have seen another sunrise

I could not avoid this fate

T'was from getting up too early

not from staying out too late

I hear the cars all driving off

I hear the day-birds screaching

The silence that I love so much

Was ruined by my teaching

Written9/22/2001